With the school holidays rapidly approaching it’s time to start planning activities to keep the munchkins occupied and (attempt to) prevent them tearing the house to pieces. This got me thinking about the things we say and do as parents to give ourselves 5 minutes peace and quiet (or just to stop the tantrums).
The picture shows one of my best ‘mean mummy’ moments from the last school holidays. The kids had been running wild and were struggling to sit still for longer than 2 minutes. Every time I left the room there would be an argument, a huge crash or even worse – suspicious silence!(after the nail varnish incident I think you all know how devastating silence in my house can be). So to keep them occupied for 10 minutes (so I could wash more than one cup up) I gave each kid a bowl of hundreds and thousands and put 5 bowls in the middle of the table and told them it was their job to sort the hundreds and thousands into colours and put them into the bowls. This gave me half an hour of uninterrupted cleaning and faffing 😀 (maybe a sneaky chocolate break too).
***NOTE TO PARENTS, THERE IS A DOWNFALL TO THIS IDEA – THE AFTERMATH WHICH INVOLVES LOTS OF BOUNCING AND RUNNING AROUND THAT COMES FROM ONE CHILD (POPPY) EATING THE HUNDREDS AND THOUSANDS RATHER THAN SORTING THEM! (TRY SENDING THEM TO A GRANDPARENTS HOUSE DIRECTLY AFTER THE SORTING ACTIVITY TO SOLVE THIS) ***
Things we Say…
As a parent I’m quiet honest with my kids – they know all about death and where their food comes from but I found myself telling a ‘mummy lie’ the other day. You know the type I mean, like when your mum used to tell you that if the ice cream man played music he’d sold out of ice cream or if you pulled faces the wind would change and your face would stick.
I was leaving my mums house and Poppy was being a complete and utter terror, running around and ignoring me and not doing a single thing she was asked (is it just me that thinks girls are harder work than boys?!). Anyway, throughout all of this the scrap man was driving around the area shouting his usual shout of “any old iron” so I did nothing more than ask Poppy if she knew what the man was shouting. She shook her head and that’s when the mummy lie slipped out. I told her that he was shouting “ANY NAUGHTY CHILDREN? I’LL TAKE THE NAUGHTY CHILDREN” and that he drives around looking for little boys and girls that are naughty and that he takes them away until they learn to behave. Looking back on it, I know how bad it sounds ( flashbacks of being terrified of the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang) but I have to say that it’s the best she’s ever walked home!!!
I know that this probably entitles me to a mean mummy award of some sort(probably in the post as I speak) but I can’t be the only person that has done something or said something like this?! What have you done to be able to drink that cup of coffee while it’s still hot? to enjoy the bath that doesn’t involve more people passing through the bathroom than Piccadilly Circus? or just to have 5 minutes of uninterrupted silence? Maybe I’m not the only mean mummy (or daddy) after all…