The boy with a broken heart…

By the time we reach adulthood most have us have experienced heartbreak and will more than likely recognise (and have probably experienced) the following symptoms:

  • Not eating
  • Sleep disruption (either not being able to or wanting to do anything but sleep)
  • Not talking or wanting to see anybody
  • Moping around feeling sorry for yourself
  • Wishing the person you love would come back

You may feel a small pang of sympathy for somebody going through heartbreak but ultimately it’s part of life and growing up, until you realise the person experiencing it is a 5 year old little boy!

My other half has been working away in Barcelona (I need a job with those kind of perks!!!) and because of this for the last 5 days I have had a little boy that has his heart torn to pieces.

Danny has always been very attached to his Dad, as a little boy he never left his side.  If he went anywhere or did anything Danny would be glued to his side, he wouldn’t let me bath him or put him to bed, if he needed the toilet he would hold it in for the entire 12 hour day until his Dad was home and could take him.  He hated me touching him, and kisses and cuddles from me were out of the question (but completely acceptable and welcomed from my partner). My parents would tell me not to worry and that he’d want me when he was poorly or if he fell over, but every time he’d push me aside and run to his Daddy.

It wasn’t until he was diagnosed with ASD that the pain of this eased up, I realised that it wasn’t that he didn’t love me, just that the role he needed me to fulfil was a completely different one to the one he had created for his Dad.  Even now that he’s grown so much and will cuddle me and let me do things with him he still mainly associates me with food – recently when having our daily conversation about death (lovely and light-hearted I know) he asked me not to die until I’d made him some dinner, but after that would be fine!

We’ve known about this trip for a while so made sure he was aware of the fact that his Dad was going to be in another country for 5 days.  For the entire time my partner has been away all 3 kids have been talking to him on Skype and we have our own family holiday booked to start tomorrow when we’re all back together but it still wasn’t enough.  Every day since Saturday has been progressively worse, he’s not eaten more than a few mouthfuls for days, can’t sleep at night but is spending the days moping around, laying on the sofa and sleeping to pass the time rather than running around and playing like the lively little lad he is.  My sister came to visit with my nieces yesterday, usually chaos follows with all 5 children jumping and running around in excitement   But rather than playing with them like he usually would he chose to stay in bed and watch a film on his own, barely uttering a word when anybody spoke to him.  It was like going backwards to the days before he was diagnosed when he suffered with selective muteness, choosing to either ignore people or only respond by making hand gesture – pretty much heartbreaking for me when he’s come so far.

Anyway, today is (finally) the day my other half comes home.  From the moment Danny woke up his mood was slightly better and is improving every little bit closer he is to his Dad.  I’m so excited to not only have my family back together but to see the return of my happy (if somewhat troublesome) little boy back.

Who’d have thought my little boy would be love sick at 5?  Oh well, at least it gives me plenty of practice for the teenage years but he’s hoping he’s the one breaking hearts!!!


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